The last year has encapsulated a series of some of the
biggest transitions in my life. I graduated from Kean University with a Masters
in Social Work. I began writing on this blog. I acquired my license to practice
social work in the state of New Jersey. I got a job in my field. I moved in
with my then girlfriend; now I’m engaged.
This is my adulthood.
Just at the end of last year, I dog sat a chihuahua named Moni, my first experience ever looking after an animal. I placed
her bed in my room as I played Assassins Creed IV, periodically tucked her in
to help protect her from the brutal cold winter we had, petted her and gave her
attention when she begged for it, and fed and walked her as any pet owner
should. It was a relatively basic task with minimal sacrifice of my free time
playing and writing about video games.
That won’t be the case once I become a father.
Moni needed love and care. But she didn’t cry. She didn’t
vomit. She didn’t turn into a shit monster. She didn’t throw temper tantrums. She
didn’t ask me a million questions thinking that I knew everything in the world.
She didn’t ask me to help her with her homework. She didn’t make me think of
creative ways to make her birthdays and holidays special. She didn’t make me
feel as if I failed her as a parent. She didn’t scream “I HATE YOU!” She didn’t
make me rearrange my schedule so that I could attend an after school event to
watch her. She didn’t make me worry every time she went out. She didn’t become
troublesome to the point that my (future) wife and I had to brainstorm parental
decisions. She didn’t make me proud. And she wasn’t the most important thing to
me.
Parenthood doesn’t sound like adopting additional
responsibilities, it sounds like a completely different lifestyle. At 25, I have
a very tight and dedicated lifestyle. I work. I go to the gym. I come home and
spend time with my fiancée. I read up on what’s new with the game’s industry, and
if I find something interesting, I’ll write about it. Then I take some time to
play. That’s quite a bit to pack between 6am and 11pm, and thinking of
factoring the responsibility of parenthood is daunting.
Ben Kuchera, Opinions Editor over a Polygon, wrote an
excellent piece discussing his perspective on parenthood and the value of free
time. I figured I’d pay close attention to what he has to say since this mother
fucker has FIVE KIDS.
As a gamer that owns all major platforms, I like to consume
as many titles as I possibly can. Having four to six hour game sessions on the
weekends accelerates that process. Infamous Second Son? Sure. Mercenary Kings?
Yup. Outlast? Why not, I have time. But I imagine parenthood changes this. The lifestyle
hardly leaves much room for sinking into your comfortable gaming chair for
hours and hours on end. You have to prioritize. And long winded multiplayer matches
when the baby starts crying? Forget about it.
But Ben echoes the words that my social work professor strongly
advised us to do, take care of ourselves. But more specifically, allow time for
gaming. Gaming to us is a much more meaningful pass time than simply coming
home to binge watch television. It preserves our identity, it’s therapeutic,
and it massages our mental capacity so that we can address equally and, in the
case of parenthood, more important matters fully (or better) prepared.
Strangely enough, planning time for and actually playing video games ideally
becomes more important as a parent.
I personally struggle with – yet very much look forward to –
the notion of becoming a parent because I’d have to budget the currency that I highly
value the most, time. I’m still young, and my fiancée and I aren’t nearly
financially stable enough to afford caring for a child. Until then, I’ll
periodically ponder what it’s like having two passions in my life.
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